Frequently Asked Questions


We're not going to tell you which f*cked up messages are inside the cookies, just know they're really offensive and obviously [NSFW] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


When's my shit getting here?

Shipping times really depend on the amount of orders we receive, generally within 5-7 days, but maximum of about 7-10 days at the moment. Relax, you're getting your shit.

Where do you guys ship?
Only in the US for now, but we're working on adding international shipping. JUST GIVE US A F*CKING MINUTE OK?! God, you're annoying.

Tracking Information
All orders include a tracking number in the shipping confirmation email. You'll get it when your order has been shipped. By clicking the link in your email you can see where your order currently is. All domestic items are shipped via the USPS.



How can I pay?
We accept PayPal, Visa, MasterCard, Discover, and American Express. We also accept the love and acceptance of our parents if you can find it. Good luck lmao.



Who's shipping address do I put at checkout?
Really? You can't figure this one out? It's disturbing that we have to spell it out for you, but please use the person's address that you are attempting to prank.

How safe is it to order online?
We only use the safest payment processing services on the web. If you have any security questions or concerns please check out our payment processors security measures. or Shopify Payments.

...but let's be honest guys, who the hell would want to hack your information just to find a negative balance? lmao relax.



Listen, the only reason why we're writing this is because some of you morons have shipped it to your house and stored it for months before giving it to the person. They be like, "i wAnT a ReFund!"

You probably shouldn't store it for more than a couple of weeks? I don't know, Google it or something.


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